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The Conscience of the C.O.D.

by James Terminiello

We’ve all had bad days, but nothing compares to Trip Torrent’s. PR director of the luxury cruise ship Climax of Dreams, he awakens to the discovery that the ship’s owners have donated it to house 4,000 squabbling refugees. Then, at a celebrity-glutted fundraiser, it gets hijacked. And that’s only the beginning! Torrent’s reluctant sea voyage includes seminude female commandos, a secret stash of special ops weapons, a billion-dollar cloud of money, a kidnapped tech guru, a ship navigation system with a dangerous stutter, a soccer match haunted by Navy drones and fighter jets, a faded comic whose skills at mimicry could save or sink the ship, an unexpected global fashion craze, a double-dealing repairman, and a whopping big hurricane. Even his attempts at romance are interrupted—by the synthetic charms of a robot bartender with a bit too much charisma! What will blow up first: his career, his relationship, or the ship?

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